


The Archives Groupchat

by AutisticJunoSteel



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe- Everyone I like lives, Chatting & Messaging, Gerard Keay Lives, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticJunoSteel/pseuds/AutisticJunoSteel
Summary: Jon gets invited to a groupchat with his coworkers.
Relationships: Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 14
Kudos: 122





	The Archives Groupchat

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to some people on Discord for all the encouragement!!

**You've been invited to gay time, bitches! by Big Sexy!**  
**JonSims:** What the fuck is this?  
**gay:** holy shit, he said the fuck word! im telling elias!  
**JonSims:** Oh no, please don't tell me this is some kind of work chat.  
**Our1Braincell:** It is  
**JonSims:** Ah. I'm assuming Tim is Big Sexy and Martin is gay, which would mean Our1Braincell is Sasha.  
**Big Sexy:** fuck yeah im big sexy  
**JonSims:** That is not what I meant and you know it.  
**gay** : you aren't wrong  
**JonSims:** About which part? Tim's attractiveness or your sexuality?  
**gay:** i meant my sexuality but like,, both  
**gay:** wait you aren't homophobic, right?  
**JonSims:** …  
**JonSims:** Martin, do you think I'm straight?  
**gay:** uh, yes? you have hetero vibes  
**JonSims:** Martin, I'm biromantic.  
**gay:** oh! i didnt know, and sorry for making you out yourself  
**JonSims:** It's really fine. I'm not sure how you didn't know sooner, in all honesty. I don't seem that straight, do I?  
**Our1Braincell:** You act and dress like an old straight guy  
**Our1Braincell** But also a grandma? **Our1Braincell:** That gives me an idea  
**OldMan:** Im just trying to remain professional at work.  
**OldMan:** Hey!  
"Jon, why is your username old man?" Gerry asks from beside him on their couch.  
"My coworker hacked me after I embarrassed myself in front of them."  
"What did you do?"  
"I didn't recognize the chat because they all had usernames that didn't make it clear who was who, and when I joined, I said 'What the fuck is this' thus ruining my professional persona forever."  
"That's not so bad, so what you swore a little?"  
"I also accidentally called one of them sexy, and one of them gay." He says, showing his phone to Gerry, who swipes it out of his hand and types something. Jon immediately tries to swipe it back of course, but the damage is already done.  
**Dumb Bitch:** eheushshsejej  
**gay:** what happened to your name??  
**Dumb Bitch:** My apologies, my horrible bastard man of a flatmate stole my phone and that message must have been typed in the ensuing scuffle.  
**Big Sexy:** you have a flatmate?  
**Dumb Bitch:** Two, actually. We've been flatmates since Uni. Though we've moved a couple times it felt strange not to live together.  
“Is _Tiiim_ in this chat?" Georgie asks in a teasing tone.  
“I don’t like him!” Jon says, but the blush on his cheeks sure seems to imply otherwise.  
**Dumb Bitch:** Actually, I’ve decided I hate them both.  
**gay:** oh! thats sweet!  
\---  
**DM: Big Sexy and gay**  
**gay:** i just heard that loud crash from jons office?? what do you think happened?  
**Big Sexy:** idk u know im not at work rn  
**gay:** ill go check on him  
**Big Sexy:** dude thats pretty gay  
**gay:** youre pretty- jsjfdsjsdfjhdsfjdfsj  
**Big Sexy:** aww thanks  
**Big Sexy:** but also what happened??  
**gay:** i walk in and hes lying on the floor, his office chair on top of him  
**gay:** he was spinning in his chair, and somehow managed to fall  
**gay:** he just decided to keep lying on the floor rather than get up  
**Big Sexy:** aiujufhjfhjufr  
**Big Sexy:** iconic  
**gay:** why do i still want to kiss him even after seeing him do shit like this  
**Big Sexy:** MOOD  
\---  
**Chat: gay time, bitches!**  
**Dumb Bitch:** god im so fucking gay  
**Dumb Bitch:** Shit, this is the wrong chat.  
**gay:** who was that meant for???  
**Dumb Bitch:** My flatmate, she and I sometimes actually talk about our feelings.  
**Big Sexy:** if u live together, why are you texting her??  
**Dumb Bitch:** She’s away on work business right now.  
**gay:** well, thats vague  
**Dumb Bitch** : She wasn’t really clear about where she was going.  
**Our1Braincell:** Its 3 in the morning, why are any of you awake???  
**Dumb Bitch:** You’re awake too.  
**Our1Braincell:** My phone buzzing woke me  
**DM: Our1Braincell and Dumb Bitch**  
**Our1Braincell:** Sooo, does Jonny boy have a crush? 👀  
**Dumb Bitch:** Don’t call me that.  
**Our1Braincell:** But you aren’t denying it.  
**Dumb Bitch:** ….  
**Dumb Bitch:** Maybe I do.  
**Our1Braincell:** Is it anyone I know?  
**Dumb Bitch:** It’s none of your business. It’s unprofessional of me to discuss such matters with a coworker.  
**Our1Braincell:** Oh, it’s Tim, isn’t it?  
**Dumb Bitch:** How did you know???  
**Our1Braincell:** I was right!! And a magician never reveals her secrets ;)  
**Our1Braincell:** And why are you just pining after him??  
**Our1Braincell:** You should absolutely ask him out!  
**Dumb Bitch:** And get rejected? No thanks.  
**Our1Braincell:** How do you know he’ll say no?  
**Dumb Bitch:** Why would he say yes? What redeeming qualities do I have?  
**Our1Braincell:** A lot! Don’t sell yourself short! And have you considered that maybe, just maybe, you should actually ask him out before moping?  
**Dumb Bitch:** …  
**Dumb Bitch:** Even if he did say yes, we’re coworkers. It would hardly be professional of me to date him.  
**Our1Braincell:** And? Just don’t tell Elias.  
**Dumb Bitch:** As someone who is your boss, I’m just going to act like you didn’t tell me to lie to our boss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! My tumblr is rose-the-emo-cryptid. (Also, Jon hasn't changed his name yet bc he can't figure out how and he doesn't want to ask for help)


End file.
